Life is a mysterious journey filled with unexpected turns, and one such curve in our lives was discovering our child’s autism diagnosis shortly after relocating to a new country. It was an experience that made us feel lost, confused, and scared. But it was also a journey that taught us resilience, acceptance, and the true strength of love.
The Unanticipated Diagnosis
I remember the day like it was yesterday. We had just moved to a new country, a new environment, and were trying to settle into a new rhythm. Amidst this chaos, we noticed our firstborn behaving differently. A visit to the pediatrician, a few assessments later, we were sitting across from a medical professional who gently but firmly pronounced the diagnosis: Autism.
My heart pounded in my chest, my ears filled with a ringing silence. Numbness washed over me as I sat there, trying to understand what this meant for our child and us. I recall questioning, “Why my child? How will we cope? What does this mean for their future?” My husband and I exchanged a look of bewildered fear – we were in an unfamiliar territory with no roadmap.
Overcoming the Initial Shock
Those early days were a whirlwind of emotions. We were scared and overwhelmed. We found ourselves navigating uncharted waters with little knowledge about autism. But one thing was clear – we loved our child, and we were committed to doing whatever it took to support and nurture them.
Research became our lifeline. We devoured books, articles, research papers – anything we could lay our hands on about autism (I share some resources for you at the end of this blog.) We reached out to local support groups and the warmth and acceptance they showed us was immensely comforting. They helped us understand that autism was not a death sentence, but a different way of experiencing the world. Don’t take my word for it, look this up for yourself by typing in search words like “autism support for parents” or “autism moms group” and so on. You should get a bunch of suggestions pop up for you. Look them up and figure out those that resonate with you and your unique situation.
Handling the Naysayers
One of the biggest challenges we faced were the naysayers. People who questioned our parenting, those who denied the existence of autism, and those who offered unsolicited and often hurtful advice. But we learned to stand our ground. We realized that our energy was better spent focusing on our child’s needs, rather than entertaining the negativity.
The Road to Acceptance
Slowly, we started to understand our child’s world – their unique needs, their strengths, and the way they perceive their surroundings. We learned about sensory triggers, non-verbal communication, and the beauty of a routine. We introduced our child to therapies and interventions that helped them grow.
Then came the second diagnosis, followed by the third, each one less shocking than the last. By this point, we were seasoned navigators, understanding that each of our children was unique, their experiences with autism as individual as their personalities.
Today, as we wait for our fourth child to grow, we are ready for whatever comes our way. We’ve learned to find strength in our faith, praying for God’s will to guide us through this journey. Four children later, we understand that autism isn’t a burden, but a different path.
To Other Mothers on this Journey
If you are a mother reading this, grappling with your child’s recent autism diagnosis, I want to tell you “it’s okay”. It’s okay to feel lost, scared, and confused. But remember, you are stronger than you think. Your love for your child is your greatest strength.
Start by educating yourself about autism. Knowledge is power. Reach out to local support groups, talk to other parents in similar situations, and find solace in shared experiences.
Never hesitate to seek help – be it therapeutic interventions for your child, or counseling for yourself to cope with this new reality. Practice self-care, because you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Be patient with yourself and your child. Progress might be slow, but every small step matters. Celebrate every victory, however minor it may seem.
And most importantly, don’t let anyone make you feel that your child is less than or that your situation is hopeless. Your child is different, not less. They have their unique way of interacting with the world. They have their strengths, their talents, their beauty.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Just as my family found our path, you will find yours too. Embrace your new reality with love, patience, and faith. Your child’s autism diagnosis isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a different, beautiful journey. One day, you’ll look back at these early days, not with a heart full of fear, but with one filled with pride for how far you’ve come.
With love,
Oke
A mom of four, three of whom are diagnosed with autism 
Here are a few credible resources for Autism awareness:
Autism Speaks – An organization dedicated to promoting solutions (across the spectrum and throughout the life of the diagnosed individual) for the needs of individuals with autism and their families.
National Autistic Society – UK’s leading charity for people on the autism spectrum and their families.
Autism Society – America’s oldest and largest grassroots organization for people with autism. It offers a variety of resources and support.
Autism Research Institute – Provides research-based information about autism, and conducts and sponsors research on the diagnosis, treatment and improvement of health and well being of autistic people.
Autism Self Advocacy Network – A nonprofit organization run by and for autistic people.
Ambitious about Autism – A UK charity dedicated to improving opportunities for young people with autism.
Autism Parenting Magazine – An online publication that provides valuable resources to parents raising a child with autism.
https://www.autismontario.com/ – Autism Ontario is a charitable organization made up of knowledgeable parents, professionals, and autistic self-advocates who can speak to the key issues that impact autistic individuals and their families in the province of Ontario, Canada.
Note: The suggested resources and information are accurate as of the time of writing. Always consult with a healthcare professional for advice tailored to your circumstances.